Kiwi's Tip of the Week

Speed Racer alluded to my tip de la semaine below, which makes it all the more justifiable that it is the tip of the week. If you are a bar band, recognize that people are there to hear music, dance and have fun. So, when you get a good set (finally) going and people have started to peel themselves from the chairs to which they were sure their skin was starting to graft, play more dance-able music! It is generally not a good idea at these moments to break into your own world of obscure, mid-beat (so no one can dance) music, no matter how stellar your guitar rips may seem...er, I mean be.

Random Thoughts from Speed Racer

- Fungus Amungus is a clever name for a band, but it’s also kind of gross.
- The Chocolate Festival really is like adult trick-or-treating, without the dressing up.
- I’m sad that John Wayne was rolled up in a towel for two years…it’s not his fault he couldn’t scream for help.
- It makes me happy when Lamb Chop says “good morning” to us.
- Why does the Red Parka Pub attract the most bizarre collection of people?
- If you’re going be in a band that plays at bars, remember that you have an audience.
- The Oscar’s sucked this year.
- If this snow continues, we are going to have an EPIC spring ski season.
- My last run of the day on Saturday (Humphry’s Ledge) was awesome.
- I need to get a digital camera.

Kiwi's Tip of the Week

Not to be confused with the tip for me...this week's tip applies to everyone! Well, everyone who likes a cocktail now and then. There is a NH Liquor Store in Glen, NH located just past the Red Parka Pub on the left. You may notice a sign for a ski rental place, a US Post Office and the aforementioned liquor store. If you go into said store on the same day that you skied, you can show your lift ticket to receive $5 off your purchase of $25 or more. How do I know this? Well, after an afternoon at Black Mountain, I decided a bottle of wine was in order. One bottle became five (because I'm a lush) and bob's your uncle--I got the discount. (Didn't know it at the time, so it was a pleasant surprise at the checkout counter!)

Tip of the Week for Kiwi

When unlocking a ski house, remember to immediately return the key to the common “hiding spot” so as to avoid the potential to lock out the remaining guests in the house after an evening at the Shannon Door. This may also avert:
1 - the necessity of a late night assault on a snow and ice encased “backup hiding spot” during a frigid rainstorm which may lead to someone being knee deep in snow, hacking away with two shovels (of which one may not survive), a large piece of plywood and several ice scrapers, ending in the use of a cell phone to divine exactly where the extra house key may be located.
2 - the need for this tip of the week.

Word of the Week

Okay, okay, maybe its a phrase rather than word, but close enough. "Word of the week" is a much catchier title than "phase of the week". So, let's get on to it: the word/phrase is "your highness". Here are the definitions from American Heritage Dictionary for "highness":

American Heritage Dictionary
high·ness (hī'nĭs) Pronunciation Key n.
1.) Highness Used with His, Her, or Your as a title and form of address for a prince or princess: Her Royal Highness the Princess Margaret.

2.) The quality or condition of being high.

3.) The words of commendation and acknowledgement spoken humbly from Tiny Boarder to Danger Boy while buying/serving D.B. a beer after losing the "is that a ski pole?" bet, by a landslide. (or should we say avalanche??)

As with many words in the complex english language there are often several meanings associated with it. We like #3 in this case!

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ear…

The above is a tribute to what DB’s new haircut looks like after taking off his helmet…‘nuff said. What I’d really like to talk about is the AWESOME skiing that took place this past weekend. Pinch me, were we out West?? There were times that I was skiing through powder up to my knees that no one else had touched in days… Whaaaat, you may say?? Were you at that 8 peaks, infinity snow mountain??…NO! Were you at that resort next to the Pickle Barrel???…NO! Did you take a quick weekend trip to Utah?? Again…I…say…NO!!! We were at what I am dubbing the sleeper mountain of the East – Black Mountain - in the deceptively, lovely Jackson, NH. And I say deceptive because there are some trails in the bucolic town of Jackson that will make your hair stand on end and turn your knuckles white (as can be attested by the trail “White Knuckle”). The snow was gently falling, our tracks from one run to the next were covered and my legs are still feeling the burn!
Some in our party (that included Lucky Jeans, Kiwi, Private Dancer, Danger Boy and Spider Pig) had the impression that this small, “family” mountain wouldn’t “challenge” them enough. Mr. “I kind of like that little out of control feeling” maybe had his britches shrunk a bit after taking a few trips down surprisingly narrow, steep pitches and some extreme skiing on a slippery slope called “Mr. Rew”. Now, I don’t know who Mr. Rew is, but I think maybe he was a little crazy and decided to cut a trail straight down the steepest part of the mountain and call it a day. I think almost everyone (Speed Racer excluded!) in our crew had a face plant, or two, or three, at some point in the day. Not to say that the mountain doesn’t have something to offer every ability. There are some very quaint tree lined trails that are quintessential old-school New England. The stuff resorts out West take their queue from. Open fields, trails gently winding throughout the mountain all uniting near a paddock of horses grazing outside…a scene right out of a Norman Rockwell painting.
We ended our idyllic day with burgers, beers & spiked hot cocoa at the Wildcat Tavern, also in Jackson. There’ve had new owners for a few years that took away all the fun pig paraphernalia and “fancified” the pub a little bit, but I do still really like the place. They have two fireplaces, a big couch and leather chair and a very friendly wait staff. I can’t remember the name of our server, but he was a very pleasant fellow. I’m hoping there are no repercussions from our rogue placement of logs in the fireplace. Actually, there was a great quote from the bartender….”If you’re going to do my job, I’m going to sit down and drink your beer!”

Kiwi's Tip of the Week

Because Sunday was such an unbelievable, EPIC (and I mean that sincerely) day in our world, I feel compelled to give everyone not just one tip this week, but TWO (and also because there was a really good one last week that I forgot!)
First: the beloved and highly regaled soul food of the slopes...PB&J's. They make a great lunch and give you all the nutrients you need to power through the rest of the day, but with one problem. The jelly always seeps through the bread, leaving your sandwich soggy. Wet bread no more! To avoid this situation simply coat both sides of your bread with a thin layer of peanut butter first, then add the jelly. The PB will not only taste that much more intense, but it also creates the perfect barrier between the jelly and the bread.
Bonus Tip: We all look for ways to save a buck or two, but sometimes it just isn't worth it. In this case (specifically for men): When buying your new 'gotchies' (that's Polish for underwear), best not to shop at Marshalls. If you do, you may find yourself saying things like: "Oh no, my wiener just slipped out again." Now, I don't have a wiener, but I will assume that slippage is not a good thing.

Wild Thing at Wild Cat

There was a lip-sync contest this Sat during apres ski at Wildcat Mtn. Lucky Jeans stole the show with her patented booty wiggles, chair ascension, sexy shirt shedding, and assorted other crowd-pleasing moves. Check out the quad usage by this gal who skied bumps for half of the long day on the slopes!

Lotta Air

Eat your heart out, Shaun White!! Just another day on the mountain for our own Smokey Bear.

Long-Tailed Weasel vs. Danger Boy

On the last or maybe second to last run of the day I found myself very confused. A fur bearing critter flew across the slope in front of me. Danger Boy said he was taking another trail down to the lift so I didn't think it could be him... the similarities, however, are remarkable:

Long-Tailed Weasel
Mustela frenata

Vocalization: Often described as noisy. Grunts, hisses, chatters, whines.
Other Info.: They are diurnal, often active both day and night. They are capable climbers and swimmers. They often investigate all the crevices and holes when moving about, looking for prey. They will periodically stand upright to check their surroundings and to look out for predators. They are well adapted for snow. They will hunt in a zig-zag pattern checking burrows for prey. They will often kill more than they can eat and store any leftovers.

Man in the Mountain?

You may have heard the tragic news that the face of the famed "Man in the Mountain," a New Hampshire landmark, crumbled to the ground below several years ago.

Well, it appears that geologists have discovered a second Man in the Mountain, viewable only on a clear day from Wildcat. If you look very very closely, you might very well be able to make out the appearance of an old Roman caesar, thought to have ruled these parts prior to the plate tectontics separation of North America from Europe .

I'm sure you will start to see that the newly discovered Man will begin to appear on NH license plates and highway signs again, replacing the fallen Man of yesteryear.

What a Day!

Yep, this is the gang, or most of it, skiing on Feb 9th. Mother nature, in her most giving of spirit, decided to dump 29 inches of fresh pow in the past week at our fave skiing local! Yowzaa!!! Any idea where we are? Here's a couple clues: the left ravine is Tuckerman's, the right is Huntington's and the pointy peak to the far right is Mt. Adams. You know what the biggie is with the weather-tower-ish structures on top of it! It was a epic, smile-maker, thigh-burner type of day!

Kiwi's Tip of the Week

Have you been struggling with your Nastar runs? Finishing just seconds off medal contention or having difficulty moving up to the coveted Platinum level? Wondering what else you could do besides point your skis downhill and hope for the best? Well...hang on to your ski poles. A local expert shared this insight with me last weekend.
To get the most out of your run, start your turn high above the gate. This way, as you are passing the gate, your body is already in position to make the next turn, saving valuable time when entering the next turn while allowing you to cut your current turn ever so closely to the existing gate.
Good luck!

Men's Fashion on the slopes

I have noticed the past two weeks an interesting fashion trend on the slopes. Well, phenomena may be a better term, as “fashion” may be a bit of a reach. At Attitash two weeks ago, there was a guy in what could possibly be the best ski pants I have ever seen in my life. They were tight, straight legged, black, stretch ski pants with…drum roll please…the coup d’etat…two inch wide, rainbow stripes down the side of each leg!! I LOVED them. Seriously, I only wish I had the foresight to talk to this man to ask how old the pants were (they looked to be in good condition) and where the heck he bought them. He appeared to be a pretty good skier – you know what I mean, he just had that look. He wasn’t some cheap hack that was wearing dated clothes that were ratty – I know he had to have paid top dollar for those things back in the day and I presume continued to wear them because of: 1) vanity - honestly, the guy was probably in his 60’s and after 30 years he still looked pretty darned good in them. 2) old-school pride – although he no longer had straight 210 K2’s, he had that Warren Miller mystique about him, you know what I mean, crack that guy open and there had to be some great stories to be had…poaching runs at some old NELSAP http://www.nelsap.org/, days of no helmets, no boot warmers, fleece what??…just the snow and the thrill of it all. I really hope I run into him again and I’ll trade him a few beers for some epic stories.
In a polar opposite direction, I saw a similar type pant at Sunday River last Saturday, although the difference in men was extreme. No doubt, both were probably good skiers, but the second guy had on straight legged, flaming red pants…we’ll more like ketchup red after it’s been sitting in the window of a diner for too long. They just look worn and I fear he was wearing them because he was too cheap to buy new ones. I’m sure they were perfectly fine pants and did the job he wanted them to (stay warm and dry), but his whole appearance wasn’t old school skier, it was more schlumpy, dirty skier…and he was probably a good 15 years younger than the other guy. I may be biased because he was sporting a mullet and a pretty think mustache, but really, the pants were dirty and he just looked disheveled. Not a “I’m a totally cool skier guy who just rolled out of bed to catch first chair” disheveled - because those guys actually spend more time on their appearance than most women I know (Freshies’ girls aren’t high maintenance) – but, “I don’t care if I look like a filthy mess” disheveled. I bet he burps a lot and asks his son to "pull my finger".

Where's Speed Racer?

Look very, very hard and you will see Speed Racer among the trees of Black Forest Glade at Bretton Woods.

Speed Racer's Trial Run

Watch Speed Racer's epic warm-up video before the real race photo from Spider Pig below.

A Speed Racer Sighting?